In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
