if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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