i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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