How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
