Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
