his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
