Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
