They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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