I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
