3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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