Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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