what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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