actually, I'm a sock model
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
