That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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