How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
