I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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