i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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