its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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