I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
