i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
