ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
only if we run a train.
done.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
