i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Panties = found
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
