she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
