Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
