Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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