I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
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He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
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All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
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