guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
