I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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