should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
