So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
