wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
