Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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