He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
