I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Randomize
