roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize