The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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