Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
