Jerry, you need to find god
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
