It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
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There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
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I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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