Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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