Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize