Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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