i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize