You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
