At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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