He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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