Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
