Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
