i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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