Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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