It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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