why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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