It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You are the jesus of drinking
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
