How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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