I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
