We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
