kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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