I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back