Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.