look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.