Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
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after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
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nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.