i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
