"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Quick, to the slutcave!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
