Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
The air taste purple.
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