Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
