I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
