I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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