You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My bed smells like the plague
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