Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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