U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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