I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
