Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
be right there i have to get my cape
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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