Joe is yelling at the trees again.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize