you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
