is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
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It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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