i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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