Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
